Hi Kaiser, I want to start off by saying I really enjoyed the extent of detail you used when describing how to use the specific features that an iPhone has to offer. I have only ever used an iPhone and still learned something new! Tips like these can be helpful for all generations. With technology continuing to become more advanced every day I believe it would be more beneficial to the audience to use updated pictures for reference. When it comes to iPhones, visuals can be very helpful for the learning process. Instead of using outdated iPhone images, I would try and use images with the newest IOS update on them. If you have trouble, maybe try using an iPhone to practice these tips and tricks. An easy screenshot would be an accurate way to ensure precise accuracy for the viewers. Plus, as a positive you can try the 9 things you didn’t know about an iPhone yourself! At first glance, the organization may distract the viewers’ attention and turn them away from the article. A few ways you could improve the organizing would be making sure the images are all the same size. By making the title and heading a larger font, it’ll create a better flow that way the reader will know where to look next. This is an easy way to improve the visuals of your listicle draft by trying new fonts, sizing, colors, etc. Remember that the audience is college students and the tone should be bubbly and fun. The headlines seemed bland and to the point. Instead of saying, “emoticons galore” try something like “you can never have enough emojis, right?” Overall, you are on the right path, keep it up.
Elizabeth Kenney, Sep 5 at 6:42pm
Nice start! The main things I would tweak would be to make the headlines more consistent as facts/sentences (for example, changing #3 to You can define any word). But beyond changing them to sentences, I think you should work to really push the tone more in the headlines and descriptions across the board. Many of the descriptions are straightforward explanations of how to find or use the function, but I want to push you to add more jokes, asides, comments, rephrasings, things like that — in the headlines and descriptions.
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