Michelle Watts-Avila
Professor/Dr.
Diversity
Assignment 4.3
Social Competence
How we relate to others plays a pivotal role in all facets of our lives: friendships, love relationships, and work relationships. Our ability to successfully navigate the world begins in childhood, when we learn to rely on the ability to adapt ourselves to our environment, how we see ourselves, how we relate to others in different environments, our ability to react appropriately to any situation and how we process our emotions during and after personal exchanges. These skills are based on social competence, defined as, “the social, emotional, and cognitive skills and behaviors that children need for successful social adaptation (Encyclopedia, n.d.). This paper will look at the development of social competence in children as it relates to social acuity.
Our first important relationship is with our primary caregiver, which is usually ‘mom’; they hold us, make eye contact, exchange sounds, and take care of our needs; essentially laying the groundwork on what it means to be ‘self’ by their acknowledgement of our needs. As we grow, we learn how to convey our needs through pointing and getting in return what we want.
Because human children come into the world completely reliant on others, compared to other species, how our primary caretaker responds to our needs and demands, negatively or positively, teaches us our needs matter or don’t matter and reinforces the way we think about how we relate to those outside of ourselves. As Aldort (n.d.) states, “Parent-child relationships are the foundation on which the child will build his social skills; he learns the qualities of care, love, compassion, forgiveness, generosity, sharing and deep connection. He will duplicate these qualities if we give him sufficient time to master them through his primary relationship first. He will treat his friends the way he has been treated and the way he observed his parents and others relating to each other.”
As children grow, they interact with others outside the home and meet other children. Through play, children build upon their interaction with others and learn to communicate socially, learn to read social cues, initiate play with positive and negative interactions, decide what to play and what roles will be assigned to whom, and handle conflict with negotiation. These social skills are the building blocks of social competence. Therefore, it can be said social competence is being socially aware, and to be socially aware, there must be the capacity to understand, read and understand another’s feelings, known as empathy. This is an interactive skill; social competence is the ability to understand other people’s moods, behavior, and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships (Kennedy, 2018).
Adults are crucial in the development of social competence as they are often facilitators or observing children as they are interacting. Social understanding is established between infancy and the age of 5; however, the growth of social competency continues over our lifetime. Whether parents or teachers are witnessing acts of social development, their input may be required. For example, teachers may notice a child having difficulty building friendships or engaging with others children. Teachers can mediate conflict, redirect behavior, such as injecting verbal suggestions, help guide conversation and provide positive reinforcement when observing desired traits, such as acts of honesty, or responsibility are being exhibited (Garcia-Winner & Crooke, 2019).
Han and Kemple (2006) suggest, cultural differences may impact what is considered desired social skills, thus influence social competency as we define them. Therefore, there must be an allowance for different social cues and responses, which can add another dimension in the development of social skills pertaining to competency. As children are impacted by global influences, the ability to successfully navigate the world begins in childhood, interacting with diverse cultures; it imperative children learn to adapt to different environments, and learn how to relate to each other to begin forming social relationships effectively.
Social Competence
Social Competence
I am
I feel
I recognize my own emotions
I see others and want to interact
I see in others how I relate to myself.
I recognize the emotions of others
I listen to others and share ideas
I understand by watching body language/non -verbal cues.
I communicate
I manage the relationships by constantly learning about myself and how I relate and work with others.
I receive verbal and non-verbal input and interpret feedback.
I form relationships understanding how ‘we’ relate to one another.
I problem solve, I negotiate
I practice self – control
References
Aldort, N. (n.d.). Social skills are learned with parents first. Transforming parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power and joy. https://www.naomialdort.com/manners-and-social-skills/social-skills-are- learned-with- parents-first.html
Encyclopedia of Children’s Health. (n.d.). Social competence http://www.healthofchildren.com/S/Social-Competence.html
Garcia-Winner, M. & Crooke, P. (2019, September 5). The updated and expanded social thinking-social competency model: Exploring sensory processing, anxiety management, and screen time overload. Social Thinking.
https://www.socialthinking.com/Articles?name=social-competency-model-attend- interpret-problem-solve-respond
Han, H.S., & Kemple, K.M. (2006). Components of social competence and strategies of support: Considering what to teach and how. Early Childhood Education. 34(241–246) https://doi.org/10.1007/s10643-006-0139-2
Kennedy, A. (2018). Promoting the social competence of each and every child in inclusive early childhood classrooms. Intech Open. https://www.intechopen.com/books/early-childhood- education/promoting-the-social-competence-of-each-and-every-child-in-inclusive-early- childhood-classrooms
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