PSY3650 Unit 7
Acceptance & Understanding
Solitude vs Loneliness
Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone Paul Tillich
Some people equate solitude and loneliness as the same thing however they are separate. Loneliness is due to certain events in life such as a death of someone we love, or a decision to leave someone. It can be moving to a new city or leaving the comfort a job for a new one. It can at times seem out of our control, but other times it is within our control. Loneliness can cause emotional and social pain. Loneliness can cause isolation, which is usually something people try to avoid.
There are several types of loneliness.
Transient loneliness is a brief feeling when there is a disruption in one’s social network.
Chronic loneliness is when people are unable to establish meaningful relationships over a long period of time.
Everyday loneliness is being isolated from other people which may be due to fears of rejection, shame, intimacy, or being unloved.
Existential loneliness is a major gap that separates us from others which is connected to self- awareness that each person inhabits a world fully known to ourselves.
Solitude is usually something we choose for ourselves, we value it; it is making time to be with ourselves. It is the state of being alone and it allows us time to discover who we are. Life is so full of the hustle and bustle, especially as a student. A student needs to balance school life, personal life and work life. This can be quite difficult; it is always on the go for the student. Solitude provides an opportunity for renewal, to contemplate and re-examine what we are doing, where we are going and who we are. It affords an opportunity to gain a new perspective on life and how we fit into it. We choose this time for examination. Per Lawrence Sterne, “In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself.”
It is important to make time for yourself, which is a basic part of self-care. Creating a personal allotment of time creates nourishment for the soul and the body. It gives spiritual and emotional strength to renew oneself.
Loneliness through Life Stages
Loneliness can occur at various stages throughout life and have various impacts.
Childhood….
It is an inevitable part of life in the beginning of childhood.
Reliving experiences of loneliness can help adults come to grips with their present fears about being alone or lonely.
Adolescence….
Bodily changes occur during this time frame and the search for an identity and a need to be accepted by others can compound the feelings of loneliness.
The price of non-conformity and independence can cause loneliness.
Young Adulthood…
Life circumstances as well as cultural factors can create a lonely existence.
How the young adult copes with the loneliness can impact decisions they make for the present and the future.
Middle Adulthood…
Feelings of dissatisfaction with one’s career or life choices will accelerate loneliness.
Midlife changes such as empty nest syndrome can lead to not only feelings of emptiness and loss but loneliness as well.
Later Adulthood…
Older adults may not feel needed or valued due to the productivity and vitality of the youth. Loneliness can be accelerated due to the aging process of
Loss of bodily functions Loss of career or jobs Loss of hobbies
Loss of family or loved ones
Impact of Shyness
Shyness is not the same thing as introversion. Introversion is a characteristic in which someone prefers to be quiet and in a minimally stimulating environment. They enjoy spending time alone; this is what excites them. Someone who is shy may not want to be alone however they fear interacting with others.
A personal characteristic of shyness can create loneliness. It is comprised of 3 components; affective, cognitive and behavioral. The affective components of loneliness are comprised of a range of physiological reactions such as muscle tension, anxiety, increased heart rate, and upset stomach. The cognitive component is an excessive sense of self-consciousness and negative self-talk. The behavioral component is expressed through inhibited behaviors.
Shyness can be problematic at times. It can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, isolation and loneliness. It can make it difficult to think clearly and to communicate effectively. Usually it holds people back from accomplishing what they desire as well as meeting new people and engaging with others socially. It can also hold people back from moving into a career or out of their comfort zone. It leads individuals to develop dependency on alcohol and drugs so as to feel more relaxed and sociable.
Be sure to take the text inventory on shyness. It will assist you through a personal reflection to determine if shyness is a characteristic that you exhibit. According to Henderson (2011) 60% of the adult population claims they are shy which for some people can become a major blocking stone within their adult lives. Normal shyness in certain contextual situations is normal however, when it becomes an issue and interferes within your life goals it can evolve into social anxiety. Social anxiety can lead to isolation and chronic loneliness.
This can be treated though.
Meaning of Life and Death
Life and death are two facets of the same reality. The acceptance of death can lead to a personal discovery of meaning and purpose of life. The realization of death can revitalize personal goals. People realize that time on earth is limited and therefore an urgency to enjoy life is set into motion. For some people the thought of death can be a scary time. Some people fear leaving behind loved ones, encountering the unknown, or ceasing to be and the loss of oneself. This can all be too much for some people, which can lead to feelings of suicide.
Suicide
Many suicide attempts are unreported and untreated. Women attempt suicide more often than men however men are more likely to die from it. People who consider suicide have feelings of being trapped and this is a way out for them. Not everyone feels like they can cope with life or that they want to go on living. This feeling is a devastating situation for someone. We all need to be aware of those around us and their feelings. There are warning signs that everyone should be aware of.
Suicidal thoughts and threats Absence of a sense of purpose in life Previous suicidal threats or comments Preoccupation with death
Giving away prized possessions
Discussing specific methods and a time plan for killing oneself Anxiety, agitation and depression
Increased substance abuse
Isolation and withdrawal from friends and family
Extreme changes of behavior and sudden personality changes An urgent need to get one’s life in order
Stages of Death & Loss
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live… Norman Cousins
Life can be as pleasurable as you make it or as miserable as you make it. It is inevitable that there will be pain at some point in life. It is also inevitable that there will be joy in your life as well. Everyone will die at some point, with life comes death; inevitable as well. To say live your life to its fullest is an understatement. We will die at some point, so it is about living life and learning how to not the voices of other people interfere with our hopes and dreams for our future. Follow your heart, listen to your thoughts, for it does have intuition, but enjoy life.
The thought of death in general can be taboo for some people. People fear what they do not know and people do not know what is going to happen to them when they die; that is the greatest unknown.
Understanding and becoming aware that the discussion of death is needed can assist those who are dying as well as loved ones to understand their feelings and arrive at a personal resolution.
Dr. Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in the study of death and dying who wanted to create an awareness of dying and the bereavement process. She delineated five stages of dying which provide a starting point to understanding the grieving process. People may experience an array of the stages, skip a stage, or even repeat a stage. It is a sequence of stages but order of them is individual.
The stages describe the experiences that most people will experience and therefore it assists in understanding the process of death for both the person dying as well as the loved ones. People all vary with going through the stages; there is no normal when it comes to the process of dying for anyone. Death takes a toll on everyone in a physical, psychological, social and spiritual manner. It is an independent process.
Denial… this is usually a first reaction. The attitude of loved one’s during this stage is critical. The people around you must accept it to assist you towards the acceptance of death.
Anger … it is important to recognize that people do need to express their anger about an impending death. It is also important to recognize that it is important for loved ones to allow the person who is dying to express the anger they are feeling. Expressing anger will ultimately assist the person to come to terms with their death.
Bargaining …involves a change in behavior or a promise in exchange for more time to live. It is an attempt to postpone the inevitable end that the person tries to make with God or a higher power of their belief.
Depression .. this will occur when the person dying realizes that the denial, anger and bargaining has not worked and they will die. It is important to allow the person to express their sadness just as it was needed to express their anger.
Acceptance …for most people it is inevitable that they will come to accept they are dying. If there was enough time to go through the previous stages and have been able to work through their feelings they will be able to deal with the reality of their death.
CSLO 1, CSLO 4, CSLO 5
References
Corey, G., Corey, M., & Muratori, M. (2018) I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in self- growth. Boston, MA: Cengage Learning ISBN-10: 1305945727: ISBN-13:9781305945722
1 of 4
The post PSY3650 Unit 7 Acceptance & Understanding Solitude vs Loneliness Loneliness expresses the appeared first on PapersSpot.
