Instructions:
After you have reviewed your instructor’s feedback on your Proposal drafts, choose one Proposal to revise and resubmit here by the due date. Note that this revision will include one new part.
Your revision should include:
A compelling title (NOT: “Proposal Revision” BUT “Breiel Blvd’s Hidden Food Desert” or “Liberty’s Sidewalks of Shame”)
Part 1: A brief response to the following questions: What is the most useful feedback you received from peers? Why? What was the most useful feedback you gave for the Discussion Board assignment on topics? Why?
Part 2: The story/anecdote about your community
Part 3: Discussion of an issue to be explored
Grading:
Submit one proposal responsive to the feedback you’ve received. This paper should be well beyond the “shitty first draft” stage at this point (especially since you’ve already received some feedback). You’ll want to be as responsive as you can be to feedback that you’ve found helpful. You might also consider reviewing some of the Style and Proofreading exercises in future Modules to help you polish your writing prior to submitting it here.
TOPIC: Systemic racism in Columbus
Shaw, 56 years black man, has been a law enforcer in Columbus’s city for the last 28 years. While working in the strategic Response Bureau, his boss Moore was known to make racial slurs and threatened to kill two black officers. Upon the disbanding of the Bureau, Shaw and a few colleges applied for an open job at the narcotics. Moore was not happy and threatened them against taking the job. Some of them got the jobs but were later fired on baseless allegations. When Shaw talked to his supervisors about the threats presented by Moore, they were in no position to help. Shaw filed a lawsuit that has attracted $475000 from the city for racial discrimination (Woods, 2020).
I am interested in covering the extends of systemic discrimination in the Columbus community. The minority groups have been facing legal health and societal challenges. Racism is rampant in the city to the extend of being recognized as a health crisis in the city. The black Americans living in Columbus are discriminated against by buying land, employment and promotions and police brutality.
This topic makes me angry and sad at the same time. However, while exploring this topic, there must be challenges because systemic racism happens in secrecy. State and city laws prohibited systemic and individual discrimination, and those found guilty are punishable by law. Therefore, minority groups face threats that hinder them from exposing incidences of racial discrimination at their workplaces. The issue of individual and systemic discrimination is wide. In Columbus, racial discrimination is regarded as a health crisis. However, using a proper strategy, I will investigate solutions and, after that, write a research paper.
References
Woods, J. (2020, October 21). Columbus police officer to get $475000 from city in racial discrimination case. The Columbus Dispatch.
FEEDBACK
Hey Tania, talking about topics that make you sad or angry can be a great place to write about. It is in these topics where we tend to show great effort in. I think talking about either one of these two topics will give you a lot to talk about and many different ways to attack your writings. There will be loads of information on both topics as well to back up your thoughts. The only disadvantage I think there would be in these topics is fixating too hard on one view point within the topic. For example, you said that people of color are facing issues with buying property, promotions, and police brutality. You could most definitely talk for paragraphs on police brutality and barely write about property or the promotions aspect but you will want to evenly talk about each topic.
Hey Tania, You will definitely do well in your proposal because you are very passionate about what you are writing about. You will have many advantages because of what your topics are about they will both be very engaging and there is a lot to be talked about with issues not just within your city but with what others have to deal with in their city. Disadvantages you may have are your biases and or writing about one particular issue within your whole paper rather than bringing up multiple issues and explaining them all so you can have a stronger well rounded argument.
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